what stays

i’ve unpacked my books
in four countries
and still
i forget where i left my umbrella

malaysia was loud 
cousins, street food stalls,
bowls of wantan mee 
that smelled like home 
before i knew what home was 

london was where 
i learned to think 
and fell in love 
a beginning of adulthood 
a life i built myself

singapore was structured 
a place to become someone 
where i worked 
where i learned 
and where i knew 
i would not grow old

berlin is quiet 
cold mornings, long silences 
i still hear my grandson’s voice 
at breakfast 
though he's far now
it makes it warmer

the elders spoke a language
i no longer dream in 
i speak english 
my children speak german 
memory is what connects us 
when language doesn’t

i used to call myself 
an immigrant 
now i just say: i stayed

in jobs 
in cities 
in love

es ist wie es ist

not giving up 
not giving in 
just living with it

i’ve learned to grow older 
without arriving
but i have stayed long enough 
to belong to my own story